[Closed Post] ..the sky will come for you once..

[lanselos_du_lac]

The day is warm and bright -- it's lovely, in fact -- and so Lancelot is doing his best to ignore the strange tension that has been dogging him over the last few days. He is, of course, keeping to his usual routine, which helps, and now he is in the little clearing where he and Magnus meet for training. He's waiting for Magnus to arrive, checking the straps of Arthur's shield while he waits, and doing his best to clear his head and focus up on what he has determined they need to focus on today.

Comments

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Well, naturally I--" Susan starts, and then stops, tilting her head and taking Lancelot in for a long moment. "Are you - what are you saying? That you prefer a situation which would inspire that sort of response not arise, or that, if the situation should arise, you prefer I stand back?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot shakes his head, taking her hand in his. He looks down, "No, no-- nothing like that. I mean to say, I think the root of my trouble is that some part of me feels that I should do those things for thee, because thou'rt a lady. And it is not for ladies to have to come to the defense of men. Of knights."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I'm afraid I've got a long history of coming to the defense of kings, even," says Susan, threading their fingers together.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Such thoughts do not grant thee the credit thou dost deserve," softly. "Forgive me."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Sweetheart," says Susan, squeezing his hand. "You shan't hurt my feelings by sharing your own. It isn't in my nature to stand idly by when someone I love is being misjudged or mistreated, and I'm inclined to be particularly defensive of you," since no one else has ever been appropriately defensive of him! "But I should like you to put worries about how I might take whatever you might feel aside. If it's something I mislike, we can discuss it, just like I hope we'd approach if I said or did something you didn't care for. Such as," now a little wry, "when I confronted Magnus."

[lanselos_du_lac]

He smiles a little then leans in to kiss her cheek, silent for now as he sorts through all of this.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Does it bother you badly that I'm defensive of you?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"It doesn't bother me," he says, sounding careful only because he's still working it out. His brow furrows. "I suppose I am not used to it, and perhaps did not expect thee to feel so strongly."

Which is also not precisely what he means, but is at least closer.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"My love," she pauses. "I did tell you long ago I'd fight everyone who treated you poorly and so I oughtn't ever end up in Camelot lest I start an international incident."

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot smiles a little, "So thou didst. 'Twas not a jest, then."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Certainly not!"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Well, then. We shall have to keep thee here." He glances down, squeezing her fingers gently.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan hesitates for a long moment, then catches his eyes. "I shouldn't want to create problems for you, of course," she says. "Then I should have to defend you from myself."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Ah, no," he says, quietly.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

He does sound ever so quiet about it. She squeezes his fingers and waits, in case he's gathering his thoughts.

[lanselos_du_lac]

After a long moment he says, still quiet, "I miss them. I miss court. I-- am angry, too, I think. There is so much I did not know I wanted, or did not allow myself to want, for their sake."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Has the anger got an object?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Myself, for the most part."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Lancelot," says Susan softly, twisting to bring her legs across his lap. She squeezes his hand with hers, and cups her other hand around his cheek. "What would you do differently, if you went back?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"If I went now? I would bring Galahad to court, as soon as I could manage it. I would-- I would make Arthur and Guinever and myself, all three of us together, talk and try to sort things out. I would find some way forward that didn't lead to ruin."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"And you're angry that you didn't do these things before?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I could do nothing for Galahad-- he was not yet born. But I am angry, I suppose, that I did not think of it. It seems simple." He takes a breath, "I suppose, too, I do still feel angry at Gwen, sometimes."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan is slotting everything Lancelot says neatly away, trying to get a sense of the whole of the picture before she starts wading through it with her vast and numerous opinions. "Because of how she reacted to everything with Elaine?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Yes," simply.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I believe that's eminently reasonable."