[Closed Post] ..the sky will come for you once..

[lanselos_du_lac]

The day is warm and bright -- it's lovely, in fact -- and so Lancelot is doing his best to ignore the strange tension that has been dogging him over the last few days. He is, of course, keeping to his usual routine, which helps, and now he is in the little clearing where he and Magnus meet for training. He's waiting for Magnus to arrive, checking the straps of Arthur's shield while he waits, and doing his best to clear his head and focus up on what he has determined they need to focus on today.

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[quote_gentle_unquote]

"That's no small thing," she tells him, her gaze unflinching. "I never imagined I might be this - this - this content."

[lanselos_du_lac]

He thinks, then, of how desperately sad she seemed to him when he first came to know her. How carefully she held herself; how changed she is now, when she's with him and elsewhere, too. His heart hurts to hear her say this, which is strange because this is a good thing to hear.

Lancelot does not look away from that unflinching gaze; rather, he turns a little so he can face her more directly, and leans in a little. "My sweet love," he says, reaching up to brush back her hair, "I thank thee."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"For what? I ought to be the one thanking you!" The briskness of her words is belied by the automatic fluttering of her eyelashes as his hand slips through her hair, the way she sways into his touch.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Reminding me of what is most important," he says quietly, leaning in to kiss her.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

She kisses him back, of course, deeply but honey-slow. They're still holding hands, and she runs her thumb over his knuckles; she moves her other hand from his cheek to the back of his neck, where she lets it rest lightly.

By the time she pulls back for a breath, she's sorted out the next thing she'd like to say. "Your feelings are tremendously important as well. But Lancelot, you make things better. Not worse."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I'm glad," softly. His thumb brushes her cheek. "I shall keep it in mind."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"See that you do," she says; it comes out sounding unpleasantly like a plea.

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot gathers her in, both arms around her. "I shall, sweet."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan shifts with that gathering, moving so that she's sitting on his lap. "So," she says, tucking his arms more closely around her. Cognizant of the fact that very little of this has been about her, she settles a hand on his chest and says, "Now that we've established that I think you're absolutely enough, that I shouldn't want you to worship me, and that I'm wildly in love with you... what troubles you?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

He laughs a little, softly, but he's definitely easier now than he was when he came in. "I was close to -- Dionysus called it a panic attack, but it wasn't the same as some of them have been. I have not felt quite right these last few days. All of my feelings about Camelot, missing home, wishing something different for myself or Galahad have been on my mind. I think I was hoping it would pass, but between the mansion's tricks, turning us into children, spending time with Galahad -- it hasn't passed."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan's heart aches. "No," she says. "I imagine it wouldn't."

[lanselos_du_lac]

After a pause, a breath, he says, "It has been nearly a year."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"It has." For both of them! Susan gives him a searching look. "Longer since you last saw Guinever. Less since you last saw Arthur. And almost exactly that since I first met my dearest friend."

[lanselos_du_lac]

He smiles at her, softly, light kindling in his eyes, softening the sadness. He feels drawn back to himself, to ground.

Lancelot knows that he has always been someone who seeks a lodestar; it's not that he is a follower who needs to be led, but that he looks to set his course by those he loves. He sorely misses his loves back in Britain, at court, and perhaps today it has just overwhelmed him. But what he has with Susan is unlike any other relationship he's had before, and he is so very glad of her.

"I love thee. Thou'rt like no one else I know. It is my great joy to be thy dearest friend."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan kisses him then, softly and on the corner of his mouth. "I'm terribly glad," she says, pressing her forehead against his. "Anniversaries are dreadfully hard, aren't they?" Lancelot will remember how reserved and removed she was around the time of Galahad's wedding, which was roughly a year (by her estimation) since her family's accident. "I'm not surprised it's weighing on you."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"No?" His arm tightens around her. "Then this is something expected?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"It stands to reason, doesn't it? There's ever so many ambient reminders."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Aye, I suppose so. I think, with everything else that's come up, it took me by surprise somehow."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Everything else? --you mean Galahad's return to childhood."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Aye-- and my own."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"You were terribly dashing, you know," Susan says, stroking her fingertips down the front of his shirt. "As a child. I'm so pleased I was right that we'd be fast friends." A soft kiss to his cheek, and then she says, "And Galahad was ever so tremendously sweet." Obviously she's said these sorts of things to Lancelot before, but it bears repeating. "I suppose it was rather a distracting day."

[lanselos_du_lac]

He smiles at her, covering her hand with his own; if it still has a sad edge to it, at least it's still a sincere smile.

"I hadn't realized, but there were many things I hadn't thought about for years and years. Emotions I had put aside," thoughtfully. "I found thee delightful, though."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Oh?" says Susan, after bestowing a kiss upon his cheek for the compliment. "Such as?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"What it was like when first I went to Pempont. After my parents passed."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

She runs her fingertips over his head, through his short hair. "What was it like?"