[Open Post] ..hell yes i mind..

[lanselos_du_lac]

It's been a long while since Lancelot felt this way: angry and adrift, too overwhelmed and in his own head to determine how best to manage it. (If Susan were here, it would be simple -- but the fact that his Susan is gone is part of the problem.) His anger is a hot stone at his center, a roiling mess, a weapon without a target. He still feels that he would like to smash something, start a fight, find some way to externalize everything all the things he could not bring himself to say to the Galahad who is far older than he ought to be, the quiet king of a quiet kingdom.

A fulfilled purpose. A completed quest. A long chain of manipulation and events that dragged Lancelot along in its wake, and that (in this other time, he has to acknowledge, not his time and not now) led only to the ruin of everything Lancelot had cared for. And for what? It makes him furious to think that the price of the Grail was Galahad's joy, Galahad's self, and that that price was somehow being paid long before Galahad was even born.

That's just the start of it; there is more, much more, and it feels like it will keep spooling out without ceasing.

His impulse, as ever, is to stalk off to his room and stay there until he feels he can manage himself. (He thinks, not for the first time, of himself ten years older and outwardly angry, angry enough that everyone sees it, fears him or dreads his company. A man who lashes out. He does not want that future, but this possibility has always been somewhere just under the surface; he's always known it. Sometimes it has worked for him, with him, but he knows that it is dangerous and there is no one in this place that he would want to bear witness to it.) If this were Camelot, that is what he would do.

Since he can't figure what to do, he settles for a middle ground. It's been a long while since he felt like getting very deliberately drunk, but that appeals just now, and so he heads for one of the smaller bars, just off the main corridor.

^{[Note: All are welcome! Those who care for Lancelot and/or those who also wish to fistfight God are particularly welcome.]}

Comments

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Most things have been easier here. I was able to get some much-needed perspective, and... things are just very different than at court."

[vineleaves]

"We're a very loving community here. It's nice. I've never known a court that was the same way. I take it Camelot's no exception, huh."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I was, usually, quite favored in Camelot. Often, things were very comfortable. It was more recently that things were difficult... and I'm given to understand they become harder still, in my future."

[vineleaves]

"In what would've been your future. I don't know what's supposed to happen, but it isn't happening anymore, you know."

[lanselos_du_lac]

He frowns a little, "In Sagramore's time, it has happened. I've been away from court less than a year. It still could happen, should I find myself back there."

[vineleaves]

"I -- suppose that's true." Dionysus used to help give out prophecies, he knows better than most that things sometimes are just going to happen, regardless of whether or not someone knows about it or tries to prevent it. "So it's a good thing you're here. We'll just have to keep it that way. I don't want you going back somewhere if it's going to be hurtful to you."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"It seems that's the only way any of it can be avoided."

[vineleaves]

"I'm sorry, dear."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I simply don't understand God's... reasoning. I don't understand the point."

[vineleaves]

"I think he's a very, very cruel god. For starters -- look, I'm going to be honest, I don't really understand what's so special about the grail, but if I were omnipotent and omniscient, I wouldn't need to send humans to go looking for a damn cup. By definition of being omniscient I would just know where it is already, right? Or -- can't he just make another one? Even I can make cups, for cryin' out loud." To prove his point, not that it matters either way, he weaves some vines in air for a moment before they fade away and leave a copy of the prop grail from Spamalot. He sets it to the side with an eyeroll. "And poor Galahad, just -- just so calm about waiting around until that god decides it's his time to die. Looking forward to it. Absolutely just -- ugh, I have no words for it, it makes me so mad."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"No, thou hast-- those are my thoughts, too."

[vineleaves]

“I hope that our Galahad doesn’t feel like that. He’s worth so much more than just — than all that. I hope he knows it.”

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I think," cautiously, "that he feels very differently. He is glad to be here. I do not wish to speak for him, but this is what he's said."

[vineleaves]

"That's a relief. Are you two close?" asks Dionysus, who clearly doesn't know anything about anything and was not lying when he told Lancelot that earlier.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Ah-- no," somewhat regretfully. "It has been somewhat challenging. But we talk, and I think things are improving between us. It is confusing, a little, because when I left court he was not yet born. But for him-- he has experience of my future."

[vineleaves]

"Oh! I didn't realize he was so much younger."

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot looks over at him, a little questioning. "Considerably, yes. He is my son."

[vineleaves]

"... Are you -- huh, well, uh. I didn't -- he's seriously your kid?" And nobody has thought to tell Dionysus this little fact yet? He was supposed to just come to this conclusion all on his very own?? "I just thought you knew him because you're both from, y'know." He gestures vaguely. "I didn't realize he's -- oh, but wait, you said he wasn't even born yet for you. That's -- I imagine that was an awkward conversation, to say the least."

A not-insignificant part of Dionysus is wondering if any of his kids will ever show up. That would be nice. He misses them.

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot scoffs a little -- sure, let's say it was awkward -- and takes a drink. "I am sorry. I thought everyone knew. I knew Sagramore because we were both from Camelot, but when I arrived here I did not know of Galahad at all."

[vineleaves]

"Well, how could you have? If you didn't even know him yet back home."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"He knew me," quietly. "As soon as he saw me, I think."

[vineleaves]

“There’s a big difference in someone recognizing a younger version of their dad and someone knowing when they’re meeting an adult version of their unborn child they don’t even know exists. It makes sense that he would know you but you didn’t know him.”

[lanselos_du_lac]

"That's true," sitting up a little. "I know that. I did not even know... he might be."

[vineleaves]

"Who is his mother?" Dionysus asks, trying not to sound too nosy. He's not sure he succeeds. "Is it -- gosh, if he's from your future it could be someone you don't even know yet, huh."

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot stiffens a little, but says carefully, "Elaine of Corbenic. From my perspective, she is probably with child even now." There's a beat before he concludes, "I did not choose her."