[Closed Post] ..the plan means nothing stays the same..

[lanselos_du_lac]

In the few days since Dark ended, even Lancelot has noticed himself feeling easier. He had not thought himself much affected by Dark, aside from his concern for Susan and those he cares about who were facing their own struggles during the month; it's something of a surprise to find that his relief is also deep-set, for himself. There is a strange kind of hope that he doesn't recall feeling before, in anticipation of spring. He realizes that the pace will change, and that he is looking forward to spring and summer in this new place.

He's been considering whether he should move some of his things back to his own room. He has not stayed the night there since Susan asked him to stay with her during Dark, and he is happy to admit that this arrangement has been deeply pleasant. Lancelot has never experienced something so ... domestic as this. (He so rarely was able to wake up next to Guinever, that the first few times he woke up next to Susan after they began seeing each other, it felt like a very deep intimacy.) He doesn't, however, want to presume anything -- he knows Susan has appreciated having him close, he knows their relationship has grown deeper, but he isn't sure whether she wants him to stay with her at night on a more permanent basis. He suspects she might want her own space back, once she's recovered her equilibrium.

As ever, he has maintained his routine. He has also seen the invitation to Dionysus' party. It's this that was on his mind as he set out for the training yard this morning -- it was brisk and cold, but not so much the punishing cold of deep Dark -- and this he let himself idly consider while making his way through drills. (Thinking about it during drilling helps, because thinking about it otherwise has made him feel anxious -- he will never know what he ought to wear, or what to expect.)

By the time he has finished, he knows that there are several subjects that he needs to discuss with Susan when they meet for lunch.

Comments

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot glances over at her, pausing in his task. "And thou hast received such an invitation?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I have."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Hm," still thoughtful, "Wilt thou go?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan oughtn't roll the dough any thinner. She sets the rolling pin aside and moves to give the soup a stir, and then the turnover filling one, too, for good measure. "I don't believe I shall."

[lanselos_du_lac]

Carefully, Lancelot asks, "Why not?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

She turns to look at him, leaning back, propping herself up against the counter with hands that grip at its edge. "It doesn't sound like my sort of party."

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot nods, "Nor mine, I do not think. Still-- an thou didst wish to attend, I would not be hurt."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I didn't think you would!" says Susan, mildly surprised. She crosses back over to stand next to him, inspecting the pile of shredded cheese. "I've got nothing against parties that involve sex, of course. Many of the ones I threw back in London did, you know. More as the inevitable conclusion than a central feature, to be sure, but still. Quite frankly, it sounds like this one shall have too many people for my preferences." And, she suspects, not enough that she's specifically interested in.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I did think thou wouldst choose for thyself," he says, easily, "I only wished to be clear. At any rate-- I think I am not cut out for such a thing."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"No?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I still cannot say what or whom I like. I presume some greater knowledge of myself would be necessary for-- such a gathering."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Oh, perhaps." Susan steals a shred of cheese and pops it in her mouth. Ah yes. Good, sharp British cheddar. "I imagine some like going in blind, and learning as they go. That doesn't strike me as your approach, though."

[lanselos_du_lac]

A little laugh, slightly bewildered, "No?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"It doesn't." She steals another shred of cheese. "You know that I'm happy to try and help you sort out what and who you like, yes?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot pauses, touched. "Art thou?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Of course." She rests a hand on his arm. "Talking about it or trying things out, or both. Whatever is most illuminating for you."

[lanselos_du_lac]

He nods, thinking this over, "I think, sometimes, I still fear to hurt thee, or to make thee think I feel something less than I do for thee. I do not feel that way in hearing about time thou dost spend with someone else, but it means I sometimes think, 'Oh, I will not trouble Susan with my thoughts on someone else.'"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I wish you would," says Susan, promptly. "I like hearing about your thoughts on others."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Yes?" He shoots her a little smile. "Then perhaps I shall."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I don't believe that I'm given to jealousy," she adds, thoughtfully, and then tilts her head so that she might peer at him. "You might think of it in two ways. For one, as you well know, you're my dearest friend. So I care about where your affections trend in that way."

[lanselos_du_lac]

He finishes with the cheese and turns to her. "Aye, that is well. I shall keep it in mind."

He reaches for her. "And the second?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

She steps neatly into his hold. "Why, it's rather titillating, isn't it?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

This earns her a surprised laugh, "Is it?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I certainly think so," she says, trailing a hand down his side.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I admit I had not thought of it that way."