lanselos_du_lac | [Open Post] ..only want to glean the purpose..

Since they learned of Shen Yuan's death, things have been subdued; rightly so, Lancelot reasons. He has done what he can to be a support for those he loves, and to keep his own worry and anxiety at bay. He worries about how they are all doing, about whether or not they are safe, about what he can do to make anything better -- which often feels like nothing. It's unsettling, and he wants to stay settled and present for them, so he determines to find a way to be so.

As has always been the case for him, being outside helps. The weather is warming and true spring is settling in. (He has difficulty keeping track of what time may be like back in Britain¹, but he suspects that it is early summer there. If so, then he supposes that means he is another year older, which is a strangely hopeful thought.) And so, after his lunch with Susan, he heads back out -- he might ride, or walk through the woods, or explore the lake. Whatever keeps him out in the sunshine, under the sky.

^{1: He has not quite realized this yet, but he has generally stopped thinking "at home" when he means Camelot, or Britain in general. That this place -- no, these people -- have become home in so short a span is something he has to take by degrees, lest he worry about what it means for his relationship with those he left behind there.}

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From:

lanselos_du_lac

"Oh, some. More often for us, and too after I came to Britain, it was some pond or lake or river. Camelot is inland."

From:

timebethine

Laertes heaves himself up onto the planks that they've managed to lay so far, and he sprawls out starfish-like to let the sun dry him. "Was it a fond memory, for thee? I have precious few of Denmark, but many of them, I forged in the water."

From:

lanselos_du_lac

Lancelot lingers in the water, though he takes this opportunity to appreciate Laertes' form.

"I think... I think it was moreso after my cousins and I had gone to love with my foster mother. On days when we were freed from training or lessons, we swam in the lake there."

From:

timebethine

"Wilt thou tell me of them? Didst thou keep those friendships into thy manhood?"

From:

lanselos_du_lac

"Aye," he pauses to haul himself out of the water, and sit comfortably beside Laertes. "I had no brothers or sisters, but they two were near enough. Lionel is the younger, and Bors the elder. Bors was ever my closest friend, before I knew Arthur, and we are still close."

Edited Date: 2024-07-01 06:16 pm (UTC)

From:

timebethine

His hand finds Lancelot's, and he presses it. "Wouldst have him here, an thou couldst?"

From:

lanselos_du_lac

He considers, squeezing Laertes' fingers. "I would, I think. It's not that Bors does not have his role at court, but he is not the king, and there are always new knights coming to join the ranks. Bors gave me good advice, more often than not. Few enough folk understand me, anyway, but Bors knew me."

From:

timebethine

"Tell me more of him," says Laertes. "Tell me who thou wert, with him--I would understand thee, if I could."

From:

lanselos_du_lac

He squinches up his face a little, thinking, and then says, "I shall try. But I should begin with how we came to be friends. Our fathers were brothers; our mothers were sisters. We both lost our fathers around the same time. Things were... Britain was a mess. At any rate, my mother sent me to my foster mother, as we had next to nothing. I think I was nine? Bors and Lionel, in a similar situation, were sent along as support for me -- my father was the elder, and I think there was some thought that we might win back our holdings, eventually. In some ways, we had no choice but to be friends. There were not really other children at Brocélien, and they were family anyhow."

From:

timebethine

Laertes sits, and lets go of Lancelot's hand to wrap an arm around his waist. Angry though he is at his father--angry in a dull, unquenchable way, a roiling rage always close beneath the surface--he can't imagine what it would be like to be without him. His father was a fact of the world, immutable as the sun. Without him, Laertes would have surely spun careening into the void. "Christ, that was a hard thing for a boy of nine to bear. I'm glad thou wert not alone with it."

Edited Date: 2024-07-01 07:04 pm (UTC)

From:

lanselos_du_lac

Lancelot nods, leaning against him. "Bors is much like me, in many ways. He is quiet around those he doesn't know well -- but he was always bolder, as a boy, than I ever was. He would do what he could to make me laugh, and occasionally was reprimanded for that. He is very good at listening, and has good sense. He would-- when things were difficult between Guinever and I, as they sometimes were, he would give good counsel."

From:

timebethine

"What did he advise thee?"

From:

lanselos_du_lac

He laughs a little, "Usually? To have patience. To wait out her moods. This will certainly surprise thee, but when it comes to relationships, I am inclined to think everything is urgent or terrible."

From:

timebethine

"What! Thee? The paragon of stoic endurance?" He kisses Lancelot's cheek. "Should I treat thee as she treated thee, thou shouldst upbraid me for it, and enlist Sagramore to thy cause. Thou didst deserve better of her, and thou wilt deserve better of me."

From:

lanselos_du_lac

"It is not in thy nature to react as she sometimes did," he leans over to kiss Laertes' cheek in turn. "Bors was most often right, except for the last time. I think he tried to help me then, too, but I would hear no one." This last is a little more subdued; he has come a very long way from the roiling, painful nothing he felt during his last weeks at Camelot. He usually simply tries not to think about that time.

From:

timebethine

He settles his head against Lancelot's shoulder. "As Claudius would say, 'Look to thy wisest friends.' Thou hast many here--Grantaire and Sagramore to lift thee out of melancholy, Susan to give thee sensible counsel, me to urge thee to action. Hear us. We love thee."

From:

lanselos_du_lac

"I know," quietly warm. He turns his head to kiss Laertes' hair. "Thou dost. I am better, now, than I was, and I have more help."

From:

timebethine

"What help wouldst thou have of me?"

From:

lanselos_du_lac

He laughs, and then shifts to raise Laertes' chin and kiss him, sweetly.

"Thou'rt enough, in thyself. Love me, be my friend, spend a little of thy time with me -- that is all that's needed."

From:

timebethine

"Live," says Laertes, catching Lancelot's chin between his thumb and forefinger. "Let not this place's hunger for violence touch thee."

From:

lanselos_du_lac

A little smile, "I have lived well, these last few months."

From:

timebethine

"What would Bors say, to see thee now?"

From:

lanselos_du_lac

At that, Laertes gets that bright and open smile again. "He would no doubt be surprised. I was ever reserved, over-serious. He would be glad to see me this easy."