[Semi-Closed Post] the 'how are you's

[lanselos_du_lac]

It's a couple of days before Lancelot is feeling well enough, and before Susan is willing to let him out of her sight. He is still tired -- the incident with Magnus was surprisingly taxing, given the chill and the fever -- and he looks it.

He is dressed in a pair of jeans and a sweater, and he convinces Susan that he's feeling well enough, he needs to check on Magnus. In truth, he still feels on the mend, but giving into the urge to keep sleeping for another day or two would feel wrong.

So he ventures out, first to get coffee and then to seek Magnus. He decides to forego drills today, as he doesn't suppose he has the strength. He isn't entirely sure where to find Magnus, but he heads instinctively for the greenhouse, since that's where he left him. (Lancelot knows he might well find him elsewhere, but this is a good starting point.)

Comments

[lanselos_du_lac]

"There was no need to tell you."

[summerdude]

"No, you just told me you only had experience with women," Magnus says, pointedly. Does Lancelot have internalized biphobia, too, like the time just two days ago that Magnus (bisexual, technically) forgot that bisexual people (Lancelot) exist?

[onthewillowsthere]

"He hasn't had sex with a man," Galahad says helpfully, because that's the kind of distinction he would make.

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot's jaw sets for a moment, and that flush is still there. But nothing about this is secret, even if it is personal.

"That's correct," he says. "I understood you to be asking about my understanding, gained through experience. Not about... attraction."

[summerdude]

"I guess," Magnus allows. A part of him wants to hold out a hand for a fist-bump and say welcome to the club but, like, Lancelot is holding a bunch of tomatoes for some reason, and it feels kind of silly to do it, so he doesn't.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad is sketching Lancelot with all his tomatoes now. "What do you like about Laertes?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"There is much to like about Laertes," his expression lightening as his thoughts shift. "He is an excellent bladesman. He has many interests, and much enthusiasm. He sees the good in people. He wants to contribute. He is, also, very handsome."

[summerdude]

Obviously all of these things are true about Laertes. Magnus doesn't get why acknowledging them would lead to Lancelot developing feeling, unless...

Nah, surely not. Right?

Magnus grows another few tomatoes with one burst of power. Galahad is good at questions, he can ask more.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad nods: these are mostly things he's also observed about Laertes. "Have you kissed him yet?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Yes," simply.

[summerdude]

Magnus looks up. "Where are you on Georgia's Snogging Scale?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"What's Georgia's snogging scale?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Excellent question," dryly.

[summerdude]

"Oh, it's genius," Magnus tells Galahad. "Let me try to remember. The first two aren't even kissing, they're just, like kinds of cuddling I think." He doesn't need to remember, Lancelot has already kissed Laertes. "Then three is a good night kiss and four is a kiss for three or more minutes without a breath, though Georgia did say a kiss to save a life, like for example when you're freezing to death and you don't want to die without trying it and then it gives you enough warmth to make it to Skadi's ice castle, um, just for example, is still only a three, so it's not about, like, implications, just duration. I think maybe five is french kissing and six is, like, um," he frowns. "Hickies? And then there's above the belt around people, for some reason, and then above the belt not around people, for some other reason? I think, um." What did Georgia say? "The whisper of tensionosity. In the air. Or... I don't know. And nine is, like, uh, below the belt. Ten is sex." He's definitely forgetting something.

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad considers this before asking Magnus, seriously, "With clothes on or not? For eight and nine."

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot thinks, but does not say, Ah, Christ. He ignores the spike of anxiety that moves through him at hearing all of this (which barely tracks with any of his own experience -- where has this "Georgia" person gotten their information?) enumerated in a ranking, precisely the opposite of how he's tried to consider it.

He flicks at glance at Galahad as he asks his question and deliberately leaves space for Magnus to answer it.

[summerdude]

"Well," Magnus says, and pauses. "I didn't ask. I did ask why above-the-waist in public is lower than above-the-waist in private, and I thought about asking what if you live outside, but honestly I was still, like, reeling from what she said about life-saving kisses being a three even though emotionally it can feel higher. Maybe with clothes is eight and nine and without clothes would be eight and a half and nine and a half?"

[onthewillowsthere]

"I've gone to nine, then," he says, remembering Claudius' hand between his legs. He looks back at Lancelot. "Have you?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I'm not certain what use it is to have such a scale," Lancelot says, carefully. "I also am not in the habit of discussing what goes on between myself and a partner, except with those partners."

He is aware that this is a non-answer.

If there's a bit of a warning tone, he can't really help it. He thinks back to Magnus asking Have you had your affair with the queen yet? -- the old impulse to keep silent is still with him, even though he's been fairly open about his affections and connections here.

[summerdude]

Yeah, yeah, Lancelot, that's cool or whatever, probably the smart and respectful choice, actually (from him? Weird!), but Magnus has greater concerns capturing his attention right now. He swings his head to stare at Galahad directly. "You have?" he says, eyes wide. "Since when?!?"

[onthewillowsthere]

Galahad flushes spectacularly -- he hadn't necessarily thought through Lancelot's presence when he shared this. This is the kind of moment where, if Magnus was Claudius asking an unanswerable question, he would kiss him to change the subject, but since he can't kiss Magnus he swivels back to Lancelot. "Laertes wants to kiss you," he says.

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot's already present flush is not so spectacular, but it has apparently taken up permanent residence.

"Erm." He is tempted to say I should hope so! Instead he says, "The feeling is mutual."

[summerdude]

Magnus swings his attention back to Lancelot. "You're with Susan too, right?" he says, though since he doesn't actually need to check -- Susan confirmed as much when she stopped by the greenhouse to see that he was okay and get a weirdly intense accounting of what happened -- he barrels on and says, "What do you get out of, uh, um, dating(?) multiple people? I asked, uh, someone else," Galahad knows that it was Grantaire, but Galahad knows pretty much everything about Magnus, just like Magnus knows pretty much everything about Galahad except for the fact that he got to a nine on the snogging scale????! Around Lancelot, Magnus is more inclined to protect his sources. "And that person said it was about scheduling and jigsaw puzzles."

[onthewillowsthere]

He already feels ashamed of saying this to Lancelot just to distract him, and he takes advantage of Magnus taking the conversation in hand again to become silent and listen to Lancelot's answer.

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot's brow furrows -- he should be used to the dizzying turns of conversation that are typical of Magnus, but this conversation has gone so far from what he initially intended that it's getting increasingly difficult to be sure he's following.

"I-- yes. I am with Susan." He pauses, trying to sort out the answer to the real question. "I think this will be different for anyone you might ask. For me, in Britain-- or, rather, all of my life up until I found myself here, what was seemly and proper¹ was for a man to be bound to one woman, and she to him. I..." He lets out a breath; this is difficult, but Magnus' question seems sincere. "I bound myself to the woman I loved, and her alone without question, though she could not really share that same binding with me. I did not look to any other desires. I know now that that did not serve me well, and I came to harm, eventually."

He clears his throat. "Here, there is a freedom that I did not have before. And I would know myself, and those other desires I set aside. And I've learned that, if it is agreeable to everyone, one can do this without causing hurt to someone they love. Different partners offer different ways of seeing things, or different experiences, or being with them is simply different in some way that shows one oneself. Susan is different from Laertes, and they are both different from Grantaire."

Then, as an afterthought, "I do not know what a 'jigsaw puzzle' is, nor how scheduling is central."

^{1: And, he thinks, what was the literal law of the land, amounting to high treason should one break it, in certain specific cases.}