[Closed Post] ..lines we're leaving behind..

[lanselos_du_lac]

He doesn't really mean to, but Lancelot keeps to his rooms for a time in the wake of the latest mansion upheaval. He doesn't disappear for days, and he mostly keeps his routines -- he does spend a little more time riding -- but he is subdued and not idly floating about for socializing.

It could have been worse. He knows this. He knows, too, that no one did this on purpose; he's grateful for Susan and Nightingale's understanding. But none of that makes it easier to regain his emotional balance. Much like that day (which felt very long), he is still grappling occasionally with that sensation of being... just outside of himself, a step removed, dizzy and longing to be even further away.

Still, he does not want to punish Susan and he knows they should talk. So this morning after he puts up Rivelin, he goes to find Susan, wherever she might be.

Comments

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Yes?" she asks, opening the jar of gherkins and putting several on her plate.

[lanselos_du_lac]

He takes a breath. "Yes." He sits up a little, willing himself not to blush. ""Laertes and I spoke-- we-- we spent time together, the day he was seeking the dog. And we-- I understood, we came to an understanding and I kissed him. Or-- I said I would like to kiss him, and he kissed me."

To his credit, he does not say it in a tone of confession, or as if he is expecting her anger. Rather, it's more that this is still so new to him, and he has few words for it, and he and Laertes have not spoken of it since so he half wonders if he can trust his own recollection of it.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Oh!" Susan looks surprised for a moment, and then pleased. "Very good. He's quite handsome, isn't he?" She eats a bite of a gherkin, and remembers the day that Lancelot told her about Arthur - and Laertes. "So this time you flirted with him on purpose, then?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

In spite of himself he does relax, a fraction, and with a chuckle he says, "So he is. And I don't know that it was on purpose, at first." He takes a gherkin from the jar for himself. "But I suppose I was flirting. And then," a little pause, "at a point he asked if I had sent thee to sound him out."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Did he!"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Aye, he did." Lancelot sets the gherkin on his plate, wipes his fingers on his napkin, and then nudges her foot gently with his own. His voice is soft, "I had not done so, of course. But I did wonder."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Of course you hadn't," Susan says, tucking her hair back and then reaching across the table to take Lancelot's hand in her own. "You did call him handsome, though. I suppose I was curious if he returned the sentiment."

[lanselos_du_lac]

He squeezes her hand, giving her a look that is very close to adoration. "It would seem he does. He had other concerns, but-- I think we will sort them. I know not what might be next, but I like him well, so I would have thee know."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Oh, lovely," says Susan. "He's a good man." She says it in a way that shouldn't make it evident that this is a fairly recent discovery of hers - Laertes might be as delicate as a spooked horse, but he's still stalwart and thoughtful, in his own way. "He cares very much for your well-being."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"This I knew-- he is a good friend," he lets his thumb rub across her skin. "I did not think he had such interest in me, is all."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Lancelot," Susan says, carefully. "Didn't you tell me he offered to sleep with you that very first time you kissed?"

[lanselos_du_lac]

"He said so," slowly, looking somewhat uncertain and flushing now. "I thought it a jest."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

It's very good that Lancelot has Susan at his side - she suspects he'd flounder without her help. She squeezes his hand. "I suppose you mentioned that, as well," she allows. "I wasn't trying to meddle¹. I truly was just curious²."

¹..........
²Okay, this IS true.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I did not think thee to be meddling," still flushed. He leans in and lifts her hand to kiss the knuckles.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I can if you'd like, though. I'm very good at it. If there's ever a moment where you're trying to sort out how someone feels about you, I'd be well pleased to suss it out."

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot laughs, the rest of the tension going out of him. "I shall put thee to work, when I need to."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"See that you do."

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Thou'rt, I think, too good for me," he says warmly.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I disagree. I think I'm as good as you deserve." Susan regards Lancelot for a long moment. "Laertes and I spoke of that, too."

[lanselos_du_lac]

He glances up, faintly surprised, "Didst thou?"

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Of how you deserve good friends," Susan clarifies, squeezing his hand.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Ah," squeezing her fingers gently in response. "Well, I have those, here."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Of course you have," Susan says. "At the very least, you have me. It's good that you have others, too." She says this a little sternly, as if - should Lancelot not be properly appreciated - she would find some way to ensure change.

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot smiles at her, "I have thee, aye."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan flushes at that smile. She finds herself wanting to say and you shan't be rid of me, either but that sounds like rather a big declaration, and one she's not quite ready to vocalize. She shoves another gherkin in her mouth about it.