[Closed Post] ..lines we're leaving behind..

[lanselos_du_lac]

He doesn't really mean to, but Lancelot keeps to his rooms for a time in the wake of the latest mansion upheaval. He doesn't disappear for days, and he mostly keeps his routines -- he does spend a little more time riding -- but he is subdued and not idly floating about for socializing.

It could have been worse. He knows this. He knows, too, that no one did this on purpose; he's grateful for Susan and Nightingale's understanding. But none of that makes it easier to regain his emotional balance. Much like that day (which felt very long), he is still grappling occasionally with that sensation of being... just outside of himself, a step removed, dizzy and longing to be even further away.

Still, he does not want to punish Susan and he knows they should talk. So this morning after he puts up Rivelin, he goes to find Susan, wherever she might be.

Comments

[lanselos_du_lac]

"No?" He presses her fingers. "I am happy to hear it."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan doesn't say what she's thinking, which is that she was getting increasingly concerned the longer he spent by himself, and she should like to have at least equally as much time at his side. His is a soothing presence, and she's just starting to realize exactly how adrift she felt after her day as Thomas, without him there, grounding her. Instead, she simply threads their fingers together.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Come here, to me," he says softly, squeezing her hand again.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

So Susan rises from her seat and rounds the table without releasing his hand. When she's at Lancelot's side, she leans in to kiss him, slow and searching.

[lanselos_du_lac]

He kisses back, sweetly, and draws her gently into his lap.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

She goes easily with his touch, perching on his lap and twisting her torso, wrapping her arms around his neck, pressing her forehead against his.

[lanselos_du_lac]

He enfolds her in his arms, warm and sure, happy to have her so close, happy to hear she wants him to stay.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Really, this is just a matter of pragmatics. When one cares about resources and their allocation, it is important to keep the more important of resources safely stored away in the appropriate area. Such as Lancelot, in Susan's room. Susan is just being sensible, as always, to insist on appropriate resource management vis-a-vis gorgeous men who have sneaked right past her defenses and become precious important to her in unexpected ways. It's so logical it barely merits mention. She tucks her fingertips under the collar of his robe, stroking over the warm skin there.

[lanselos_du_lac]

He smiles into the kiss, rubbing a hand up her back as if he could pull her still closer.

Susan feels so good against him, so good in his arms. She feels like an anchor, a haven. Lancelot cannot imagine why he didn't recall this sooner; it isn't news to him.

(But then, he supposes, it has always been his way to put himself apart, to isolate himself, when he's unsettled or upset. He's not sure why. It is his habit but-- it needn't be, any longer.)

His fingers clench gently in the soft fabric of her robe.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan presses into his touch. It's instinct as much as anything; he's warm, he's solid; she can't get enough of the feeling of his hands against her skin. She feels like an exposed wire, sparking when he's near. She doesn't know how to vocalize any of what she's feeling, though, so she just kisses him harder, tightening her grip like she can merge their bodies together.

[lanselos_du_lac]

After drawing the kiss out for a long moment, he pauses for a breath, cupping her face in both hands. "Thou'rt a wonder," he says softly.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"I," says Susan. She licks her lips. She feels like she's brimming full of something - warmth? light? a shivery sort of welling-up? - and nearly certain there must be some word for it, but she can't think of what it might possibly be, so she just kisses him again, gladly. She's still a little tired, from coupling twice in short order, but the queer feelings inside of her are so strong she thinks she could easily go yet again¹.

¹You know Buffy: the Vampire Slayer Season 4 Episode 18: Where the Wild Things Are, when Buffy and Riley fuck a million times in a row and exacerbate the hauntedness of the frat house? Actually Susan and Lancelot, in this moment, could be said to be on the verge of directly causing Bodyswap Part 2

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot keeps this kiss brief but doesn't release her; he lets his thumb brush across her cheek. "I love thee, as thou know'st," quietly, "Thou hast shown me such care, and thoughtfulness."

He brushes back her hair from her forehead, and for a moment it seems he might say more, but then he says only, "Come rest a while. I would like to keep thee close."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan waits for a moment to see if he might say anything else, her heart thudding in her chest in some queer and undefinable way. "Very well," she says, but makes no move to get off of his lap.

[lanselos_du_lac]

Lancelot smiles up at her, letting his hands fall to her waist, and tilts his head a little as if to invite her to say what's on her mind.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

Susan hasn't got anything to say, though. She's terribly glad he loves her, and even though she doesn't particularly feel like she needs rest, spending the day with him - and beyond - feels like an unexpected sort of relief. Too, she supposes she ought to tell him of how her relationship with Janet has evolved, sooner rather than later, but it feels tonally inappropriate for the moment. For the moment she unhooks an arm from around his neck, and runs it down his chest, widening the gap of his robe.

[lanselos_du_lac]

He has no mind to rush her, and this seems as restful as anything else, so he settles back and lets her touch and their warm, comfortable silence play out.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"How has your training been going?" Susan asks, after a moment. She hasn't been to watch in a few days - she'd meant to allow him his space for at least a day or two more before tracking him down there, if he hadn't sought her out.

[lanselos_du_lac]

He smiles, "Very usual, for which I am grateful."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Oh, splendid." She's tracing her hand down his chest again, nudging the robe open wider still.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Canst tell I have not been slacking?" His tone is sweetly teasing.

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Oh yes," says Susan, moving her hand up so she can feel the muscles in his arms. Oops, his robe slips from his shoulders. How unfortunate. "You really are offensively handsome, you know. You ought to put it away, spare us all the distraction." Of course, if he tries to straighten the robe, she shall be magnificently disgruntled.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"I am given to understand there are those who mislike when I keep to myself," with similar humor. "There may also be those who enjoy being thus distracted."

[quote_gentle_unquote]

"Such as?" Susan asks, innocently, now tucking her hands on each side of his waist and splaying them wide.

[lanselos_du_lac]

"Thine own self, if I am not mistaken."