"I am glad," kissing her hair. He laughs a little as they keep dancing.
He did not foresee this, exactly, when he admitted to Arthur that he would rather stay here than return to court. But he realizes now that, despite how agonizing that admission was, it was made with the faith that there are truly more possibilities for him than just the one where he stays with two people he loves more than life at the price of (apparently) decades of ongoing pain.
Instead, he can have this -- Susan's smile and the way she feels easy in his arms. The way she is glad to see him. The way she inspires him to do whatever he can to delight her. (And he knows, he does know, that it was this way with Guinever in the beginning. But that felt different, too, less free and rarely light, for obvious reasons.)
Lancelot pulls her closer still. He says quietly, "I thank thee. Thou hast made me feel restored."
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He did not foresee this, exactly, when he admitted to Arthur that he would rather stay here than return to court. But he realizes now that, despite how agonizing that admission was, it was made with the faith that there are truly more possibilities for him than just the one where he stays with two people he loves more than life at the price of (apparently) decades of ongoing pain.
Instead, he can have this -- Susan's smile and the way she feels easy in his arms. The way she is glad to see him. The way she inspires him to do whatever he can to delight her. (And he knows, he does know, that it was this way with Guinever in the beginning. But that felt different, too, less free and rarely light, for obvious reasons.)
Lancelot pulls her closer still. He says quietly, "I thank thee. Thou hast made me feel restored."